Writing Changes

I was always the sister that many thought was the shy, quiet one. I think I have surprised a few people along the way as I haven't turned out to be so shy and retiring. My other half just snorts at me when I say that I was once, shy and retiring.

Even though I have come out of my shell, so to speak, my self confidence hasn't exactly been very high. I would never be able to do something like Strictly Come dancing or X facter as I am neither very good at dancing or singing. I would also be very embarrassed at having to do something in front of the general public.

However, when I made the concious decision to try writing a novel I managed to get to the end. I was filled with elation. I had managed to do it but then came the scary bit. I had then to go on and start my attempts at getting an agent. This is not the easiest of things. I know that from the many interviews I have read about other authors. But if I had still be that shy, quiet and retiring youngster that I once was then I would have given up after the first rejection and gone no further; but I have now applied to two further agents. I would never have done that in what now feels like a previous life. It is amazing just how obvious to me it now is; just how much I have changed and all because of a writing course and great tution.

What is it about nerves?

I am an emotional person. I always have been. That is a part of my life. I know this and have accepted this fact. Nothing is going to ever change that. But what is it about nerves?

I am not nervous all the time don't get me wrong but. There is always a but isn't there? whenever I have an interview or sit and exam, or in this instance sent an email with the first three chapters of my first ever book along with the synopsis as requeste, my nerves just kick in. I can't help it. They weren't there two seconds before I sent the email but as soon as I pressed the send button then every single nerve I possess came out of hibernation. Followed very quickly by a feeling of euphoria.

I don't regret what I have done. I always wanted to be able to say that I have written a novel and tried to get it published but it is just that initial pressing the send button and knowing that I have actually done it. No sooner had the nerves kicked in then they disappeared again and all I wanted to do was tell all my friends that I had actually had the guts to do. Numerous texts and phone calls later and I am still on a bit of a high. The nerves have disappeared but the feeling of euphoria is still at it's peak and those ants have now come out of hibernation. Why can't it just be one thing at a time? It takes me until about midnight to actually calm down again to be able to sit in my seat without wriggling about. Don't even ask me to go to bed at that point there is just no way I am going to be able to get to sleep.

I must try and find something that takes my mind of it but the only thing I can think of is starting the next novel. Hhhhhmmmmm might let those nerves calm down a bit more. Sleep seems more valueable than starting a novel right away. Especially a half past midnight.

A dim and distant memory

Why is it that even after only a few days that holidays seem like a dim and distant memory?

Everything was back to normal on Monday as usual and after only an hour or so it seemed like we had never been on holiday. It didn't really hit me until I went to bed. What a time for it to hit. I am in the bed on my own. Great! This isn't a brilliant time to be feeling lonely. I couldn't get to sleep because of it. Even now I am finding it difficult and it is now Thursday.

But on saying that I have got back into the swing of working on my novel. I am into my fourth draft now. I hope to get it finished soon and then maybe, just may be, I can get it sent off to an agent. The only time that I have been this nervous is when I have been waiting for exam results or going for an interview and my nerves always get the better of me. Even now. You would think that with all the experiences I have had over the years that this wouldn't be an issue, but it is, and I don't think I am going to be able to get rid of them now. I can, I suppose, forever live in hope. I felt sorry for all those who were getting results back this year. Futures depend on what is in those envelopes. How terrifying. I wouldn't want to be back at High School and doing my exams. I can feel then nerves just thinking about it. Those days, I am thankful to say, will always be a dim and distant memory.

Until next time.

Christina x

'The End'

I have, for sometime now, been working on a novel. When I say some time I mean exactly that. The idea came to me about nine years but due to other commitments at the time I did absolutely nothing about it. It was not until about three and a bit years ago that things changed. After the death of my mother I decided it was time to actually get myself into gear and start to do something about this idea that had been persistently floating about in my head. So I joined the Writers Bureau, a correspondence course to improve my writing skills. Which were pretty non existent really. I loved it. It has been difficult but I loved it. But that idea was getting more and more persistent. It had changed a little over the intervening times but now it was time to get to grips with it. I tried it out as part of a couple of my assignments and got some really good feedback along with the constructive critisms. It was just what I needed, and so the novel has been worked upon. Don't get me wrong. It is nowhere near completion and I have a lot of work to do but I have managed to get it typed up with those two little words telling my that I had managed to get through a written first draft and a typed second draft. I had edited it and cut alot of waffle out. Yes if you haven't already gathered from my blogs yes I can waffle with the best of them. Good Gold medal potential for waffling at the next Olympic Games. What are those two little words? Sorry didn't I say. They are those immortal words that come at the end of a book or movie. They are of course, 'The End'.

Never in a million years did I ever think that I would ever get to this stage. And not so long ago I would never have dreamed of actually doing something like this. But that idea had to persistently bang against the inside of my head so I just couldn't ignore it any more. So here I am. I have a second draft all typed up with those very nice two little words. The idea is now down on paper and a look at the Writers and Artists Yearbook has been studied. But unfortunately no matter how much I want to concentrate on this my first novel a sequel idea is now battering around inside my head. One would have been enough but this idea seemed to lend itself to a second. No matter how excited the writer in me is I have to use the logical grown up head and get down to working on the first and making it as good as I can before running off to do a second. One thing at a time.

Novel Research

I have started writing a novel. I had been thinking about it for many years, like so many others I am sure, and I have got a lot of the background work done. I was taking photographs today of the place where the big finally between goodies and baddies is going to be. I readily admit I need a visual reminder as I am sure I will not be able to remember it whilst trying to write this sequence. Little did I know that this was going to create an unusual scene and a bit of an adventure in itself. But that is a whole different story which will be told some day I am sure.